Thursday Feb 22

Wow! Lots of news and changes. Mark and Rebekah have been here visiting this week so I spent lots of time with them which was great... An aquarium trip and a few walks on the beach are always great...
I met with the neurosurgeon yesterday I have never seen anyone with such steady hands... He is definately the man I want holding the gamma knife. So they have all the people in place and the gamma knife will be moved up to TOMORROW. I am thrilled to have this little 8mm tumor deleted from my left lobe. They are very encouraging, I am the perfect candidate etc. SO. I go in at 10 am and should be done by 1 or 2. it is outpatient, and they say I will be fine afterword, but to rest. I guess so, I will have a vacant spot in my brain..... but I am not using it at the moment so I am accepting that all is well.
That moves the chemo back to next week. That would have been the normal week and they want to keep me on a every 21 day schedule for the chemo as it has a better chance of working that way. So. I am gearing up for my second round next week. I am planning on lots of hot ginger tea with honey this time (I am so glad I got honey from Sat Kaur at Solstice!) and wil try to make some nutmeg cookies as that is what Yogi Bhajan says is great for chemo...
My hair has started to come out by the handfull. I guess I will get to see how I look bald. At first I was kind of freaked, but it really is OK. It will grow back. Just another thing to let go of. It lets me see what it is about me I am attatched to...
I am asking myself what it is that makes me doubt. At times there is such a sense of "rightness" about things and then there are other times when I begin to doubt... So I am looking at what triggers that. I want to, or rather I feel I must, live in a consciousness of faith. Most of the time, I know it is all right, but I have my moments...
Blessings and love to all. Dyal Kaur (Martha)